Let Yourself Be Inaccessible
In my last blog, Got Decision Fatigue? I discussed how we have all access to everything at our fingertips and how that can be so overwhelming. Today, I want to flip the script and talk about how this all access to options also leaves us exposed to being accessible all the time as well. Especially as mothers, we feel like we need to be available 24/7. You may have felt, or feel like your whole existence after baby comes is centred around them. In many ways it really is. And the boundaries get so slippery as you - like me - may have accepted your fate of feeling like you need to be giving all access all the time.
I don’t recall when it happened, but I got okay with letting go of expectations pretty quickly when the day didn’t go as planned. Typically my own needs would get pushed to the back burner. Ironically, I also recall having a tough time letting go of control to allow others to support me so that I wouldn’t feel like I needed to be there all the time.
Here’s a fun story about a time I was hesitant to let someone else take the reins. It was one of the first times my husband and I went out together after having our first child. We had asked my aunt and uncle to come look after him for the evening, which entailed feeding him and putting him to sleep.
When they arrived, I proceeded to launch into a million instructions on what to do with him, how to do bedtime etc. They kindly listened, assured us he would be fine, and sent us on our way.
Upon our return home, we walked into a scene I was not expecting. The TV loudly displayed an action movie in full force, when I went to check on the baby the door was wide open, the ceiling light was still on (dimmed, but on)…and the baby was sound asleep. The lesson I quickly learned from this is that I can leave my baby with other people who love and care for him, they will do things way differently than I ever would, and it will all be FINE. The sky did not fall, the world did not collapse. If anything, my kid was probably more calm and happy because his uptight mama was not around ;)
Experiences like this are why I created Moms Day Off. It’s what I badly needed (and still need tbh) at times when anxiety and control are at an all time high. When I feel like the responsibilities of mothering are unrelenting. Whether you are in the newborn phase or far beyond it, I encourage you to take some amount of time to let go and be “unavailable”. Even if it’s just an evening, an hour, a few minutes to take a walk. And if you really want to go for it, join us in Canmore on April 30th.
Here’s to giving your life an OOO notice. We out!
xo Sydney
Join me in Canmore
Join me for a restorative 1-day retreat in the mountains! I have curated a day that includes time in nature, movement, and reconnection with yourself. Not only will you walk away from the day feeling refreshed and recharged, you will also take home some practical stress management tools from our session, “Understanding Anxiety, Depression & Your Mental Health in Motherhood” with Ashley Brodeur from The Feelosophy Therapy.