Aligning Expectations to Actions

Perhaps the largest challenge I have encountered as a coach is helping people to manage their expectations entering in to our coaching relationship. They are ready to commit to their fitness goals, and are eager to take the necessary steps toward them - or so they believe. Where many people get tripped up is in having a very specific expectation of an outcome that may not be aligned with what it is going to take to get to that outcome.

If your goal is extreme, it’s going to require extreme measures to get there. It will mean doing a lot more of the things that lead you toward your goal and a lot less of the things that lead you away from your goal. It means sticking to the plan 90-100% of the time, which doesn’t leave a lot of “margin for error” and requires more willpower. It typically takes more sacrifice and more discipline.

This “all-in” approach may get a result in the short term, but typically burns most people out on the way toward the goal. Because the behaviour change related to the expected result was more extreme, it’s less repeatable and less sustainable over a longer period of time.

If your goal is less extreme, it will require simpler, less extreme measures to get there. It will mean doing a bit more of the things that lead you toward your goal and a bit less of the things that lead you away from your goal. This makes it easier to stick to these actions because the behaviours you are adopting are much closer to what you have been doing. Willpower, sacrifice, and discipline are still required here, but because extreme changes are not required, extreme willpower, sacrifice, and discipline are not required.

This approach is more incremental, so may feel slower and take longer, but is not as painful along the way. Because the changes you are making are more subtle, it’s more repeatable and more sustainable over a longer period of time. The irony of this approach is that it pushes up against our innate tendency for extreme expectations, which frustrates many people and can result in people quitting on their goal early, but it typically leads to better outcomes over a longer period of time.

My question is, which one sounds more appealing?

There’s no right or wrong answer here, just something to consider as you take steps toward your own goals. In either instance, the route to getting to most goals is a lot less sexy, requires more work, and takes longer than we expect. Think about which approach best matches your goals and manage your expectations accordingly.

Onward,

Sydney